Love – such a wonderful concept, but a word that can be misused and abused. Ever since I was young I equated love with a conditional value, mixed with an underlying theme of fear. When I became a Christian a few years back, I would continually speak about God’s love, yet the words felt dead within my heart. My own internal conflicts manifested themselves in the form of various addictions and emotional instability, and I found my only refuge was in repeated visits to the hospital and treatment centers. Through it all I would speak of God’s love and His faithfulness, until it was ever so kindly pointed out to me that my actions were not aligning with someone who believed in the power and love of God. She was right! I really didn’t believe that God loved me; in fact it was quite the contrary.
It was at this time that I humbled myself and became honest before God about how I really perceived Him. It was not eloquent or graceful, however something beautiful happened and I felt a weight lift and something shift within me. From that moment on my new mantra became, “God loves me unconditionally and He is protecting me!” The acting out, and the desire to engage in destructive behaviors decreased significantly once I changed how I viewed God, and from that moment on I was able to develop a deeper and more authentic relationship with him.
God longs for a deeply authentic relationship with each and every one of you. He longs to beckon you into His presence and love you in a way that can heal the wounds of your past. Sometimes what’s required is for us to become more open before God about how we view Him. He can take it! And He’s more than willing to change our perceptions of Him, especially if they’re not in alignment with His word. If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout the years, in my struggles and while overcoming my battles it’s this: His love is always there, and it is intrinsically threaded throughout the story of our lives, sometimes we just have to change our perception of things.